Bleach life 101
by Osamu Kurogane
Summary: This is about a boy who get's sucked into his computer and meets the Bleach characters. Just watch and learn what to do when you go through the same experience. Tell me what you think. That's all I ask.
1. Chapter 1

**DISCLAIMER!!!**** : I DO NOT OWN BLECH OR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST OR NARUTO.** Even though I'm sad to put that…

Hello peoples of da world!!! My name is Osamu Kurogane, but you can call me Gane-san! Let me tell you the story of when I got sucked into my computer. Interisting, I know. Well, it's not really one of those bulky computers. It was the laptop that I go on every day and stay in my room and go on the internet all day until I feel sleepy then I wake-up and eat instant ramen whilst on the laptop. In my room, of course. My parents and my grandparents are worried, but I tell them I'm fine, because really, I am. My parents are in this "major" fight because my mom is always sneeking off to the casino and she sometimes doesn't come back for two weeks! Usually after about 5 days though…

ANYWAY! Back to the laptop. Here's the story.

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Kurogane of the Osamu family was sitting on his futon on the floor with his laptop in his room reading fan fics. It always felt secluded and private in there so he always stayed in there whole day. It was summer vacation and he had the right to do whatever he wanted before he went to his volunteered time at summer school. It was getting boring at home and his parents said that he could go if he wanted to for extra credit, but he just went for boredom seemed to have taken over his summer vacation.

Back to the fan fics… In one of those commercial bubbles on the side of the fan fic, it said "Do you want to talk to your favorite Bleach characters? Well then, click on this bubble!" And at the very bottom it said "No viruses or spamming allowed."

This caught Kurogane's eye because it had pictures of his favorite characters, Hitsugaya Toushirou, Kuchiki Byakuya, and Kurotsuchi Mayuri. So he read the fine print anf clicked on it because his parents didn't want him to get viruses on the laptop. He's not the one who paid for it after all.

When the rest of the ad came out, there was a thing that said "Click here to meet Bleach." Another "Click here to meet Naruto." Another "Click here to meet Ouran High School Host Club." Another "Click here to meet Princess Resurrection." Another… well, you get the idea.

So, he clicked on the Bleach one and the screen turned pitch black. Some text came up. "Are you sure you want to meet Bleach?" Yes or no came up. Kurogane clicked yes.

Another pitch black then text. "Really sure? You'll have to complete a tack." Yes or no things. Kurogane thought, _Task? That's kinda weird. Oh well. _He clicked yes.

Another pitch black then text. "OKAY!!!" Then a huge flash of light and Kurogane blacked out.

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Sorry for it being so short, but I guess it looked longer on paper. So, tell me what you guys think because I'm going to make a sequal any way. I already have one written out so there!!!. Anyway, I get off topic a lot. Comment and send me things. See ya next time!


	2. Chapter 2

**DISCLAIMER!!!**** : I DO NOT OWN BLECH OR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST OR NARUTO. **Why must it be so!!! DX

So last time on Bleach life 101…:

Kurogane was in his room and answered an ad that he saw on his compu- LAPTOP!!! I mean laptop. He answered the ad and blacked-out… onto the story!!! (new font)

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Kurogane awoke in the middle of a bustling street filled with people and noise. Two things that he hated. So he got up quickly and ran. He ran trying to look for a quiet spot. All the noise was giving him a headache.

His eyes were closed because all if a sudden he could just sense people with his eyes closed. But then, despite his new ability, he bumped into someone. Hard.

He opened his eyes to find it was a spiky haired, teal-eyed, white haired kid. His eyes widened. It was Hitsugaya Toushirou- taichou!

Kurogane got up quickly to try and help out one of his fav characters. But instead he got "What the hell is your problem?! Shit!"

Kurogane was stunned and looked like he was about to cry from the profanity being used. He hated swear words.

"Oh my gods! Don't tell me your gonna cry about a little bump!" Hitsugaya looked like he was about to laugh.

Kurogane straightened himself out and bowed deeply. "Hitsugaya- taichou! May I have the honor to spar with you?" He stayed in his bow.

Hitsugaya was surprised by this guy's formality and ave him the signal to follow.

Kurogane was surprised by the taichou's sudden kindness. Or maybe he was being led into a really bad trap. Nah. That couldn't be true.

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-at the Tenth division hang out-

Kurogane finally realized he was in the Bleach world!!! (He's slow, I know…) Hitsugaya had led him to the Tenth division hang-out place and told him "Wait here, will you?" So then Kurogane sat on the floor, crossed his legs, and waited.

When Hitsugaya came back, he came with a big-boobed woman with oranges, long wavy hair and ice-blue eyes. Hitsugaya pointed at Kurogane and asked the woman "Rangiku, should I spar with this person? He asked for it."

Kurogane was sitting there staring at the woman's face. This was Rangiku Matsumoto, or which ever her first name was!

Matsumoto also stared at this cute girl who was sitting in such a childish position that it made her look cute. She had long silver hair that was pulled back into a braid and blood-red eyes that were sort of big and sparkly as she stared at Matsumoto. She was so kawaii!!!

"MATSUMOTO!!! ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?!?!" Hitsugaya shouted at Matsumoto who was obviously blanked out. She shook her head. Hitsugaya asked again. "Should I spar with this person? He asked for it."

"EHHHHH?!?! That's a guy? I thought it was a really adorable girl!" Matsumoto questioned.

Obviously, Kurogane got one of those anime veins on his temple and his eyebrow twitched. He did not like being thought of as a girl. His eyes went back to their narrowness so that he looked like a guy with beautiful hair. A ray of sunlight caught it. That part of his hair instantly turned blue.

Hitsugaya and Matsumoto gasped at the beauty when Kurogane was fully covered in sunlight.

Hitsugaya coughed to try and make up for the gasp and glared at Matsumoto to make her answer his question.

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Well, hoped you liked this one, because another one is going to come after in a VERY short while. But after the fourth chapter, the progress might slow a little. Please comment and tell me what you think of this chapter, So… yeah. SEE YA NEXT TIME!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**DISCLAIMER!!!**** : I DO NOT OWN BLECH OR FULL METAL ALCHEMIST OR NARUTO. **WHY MUST THEY TORTURE ME SO!!!

Last time on Bleach life 101…:

Hitsyugaya bumped into Kurogane and led him to the Tenth Division hang-out. There, Kurogane met Matsumoto, who thought he was a she. Kurogane turned out to have color changing hair and Hitsugaya stared at Matsumoto to make her answer his question.

ON WITH THE STORY!!!

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Hitsugaya still staring at Matsumoto, some weird guy with feathers on his face came in. YUMICHIKA?!? What was a guy from ELVENTH division doing in TENTH division?!?!

Yumichika spoke in his feminine voice. "Hey, Hitsugaya- taichou. You should probably know what I'm doing he-" He immediately stopped when he saw Kurogane's face. This person was like an angel! "Um, taichou. Who is this person?"

Hitsugaya noticed Yumichika was there and asked him "What?" You know, one of those surprised _What?_'s, not one of those annoyed _What?_'s. You know what I mean, right?

Well, Yumichika repeated his question (the last one he said that is) and Hitsugaya turned to face Yumichika and said "This guy", pointing his thumb at Kurogane "is… You never told me your name, did you?"

Kurogane looked up from the bug he was playing with and looked like he had just blanked out. "That's right!" He stood up and bowed. "My name is Osamu Kurogane. I am freelancer who just walks around soul society. But you know? I always get hungry, so I get some dirt, draw a circle and make a pie! (It's from Fullmetal Alchemist just to tell you)" Kurogane was making up the info on the spot. He didn't know what else to say when he thought of his hunger problem. He eats a lot… yeah.

The three shinigami looked at him like he was crazy. "You eat dirt? With such a beautiful face? What a waste." Yumichika said, breaking an awkward silence that had formed.

Kurogane looked at Yumichika like he was the crazy one. (He was still in the sunlight.) He walked over to Yumichika. His hair turned back to its normal color. Yumichika's eyes widened at the sudden transformation. Kurogane was up in his face. "Listen, Yumichika- chan. I don't eat dirt and I never will. Just watch. Come." He did that thing that people do with their finger to signal "come".

They followed him outside. Kurogane got some dirt from the garden outside (there's always a garden in a place that has a lot of stress going on inside.) and put it on the wood. "Hey, do any of you have something I can write with?" Matsumoto handed him some chalk that she got from her "secret compartment", if you get what I mean. Yeah… Kurogane gently took it from her, said thank you, drew a circle around the dirt with writing around it, clapped his hands together, put his hands on the outside of the circle, his eyes sparkled (more of lit up, literally, you know, glowed like a glowworm?), and a big light came from the circle. A pie had formed in the dirt's place. You FMA fans should know why his eyes are blood-red now. Yes, the philosopher's stone was actually built into his eyes. Interesting, no?

Kurogane cut the pie with his hands and gave, actually clean cut slices to Matsumoto (Lady's first), Hitsugaya (Then children), and Yumichika (-sigh- then the beautiful. He made me put it.). "Try it. It's really good!" Kurogane then took a big bite out of his slice of pie. His mouth as clean as ever without having to wipe. It's freaky, I know.

Matsumoto tried it, then stuffed the rest into her face. Hitsugaya tried it, then said "Almost as good as watermelons." Then he ate the rest quietly. Him and his melons. Sheesh. Yumichika looked at his pie and said "I'm not eating something someone touched!" Then he walked out of the room. Kurogane knew that he was trying and eating the pie around the corner. He could hear him. He could hear him saying "Oh, this pie tastes like heaven!!! Well, like there is one. No such thing as heaven or hell. Well, the demon gate is hell, I guess."

Yumichika returned, after finishing his pie, to find his own captain "asking" Hitsugaya to spar with him.

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Well, that's the end of chapter three… tell me what you think in comments and the next one shall be coming soon. I hope people are actually reading my fanfic. 'Cause if you want to be in it, I can add you in. Just tell me your screen name and I'll send you a name I make-up for your approval of it to use as you. And don't worry. I'm no supreme hacker, so I won't be able to find out personal stuff. I'm telling you this because I was hacked once…

ANYWAYS!!! Send me comments and wishes!!! See ya next time!!!


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